Life throws tantrums in our ways. With you living a smooth, free-flowing life. And at some point in time, you witness a sudden turn of events. It always turns out to be “thrilling”. It might not be subtle always, but it moves and thrills you from within for sure. If it ends up in a disparity and disheartening situation, the heart gets heavy. It feels like it is being compressed by something that weighs tons. When I experience such heaviness levied over my heart, I recognise it as a separate entity sticking onto me without my permission and it is not the part of my body.
Anguish, irritation, uneasiness, impatience. Such emotions rush through the body like an electric current. It lands you up in acting crazy at times. Stability gets into you once you empty such experiences through expression in some way or the other. However, a few instances of life can’t be handled in normalcy.
If you are an introvert, the word of expression may not come out of your mouth so easily. Maybe, you hold it tightly within. You are scared to let the uneasiness move out of your mind, body and spirit. You want to keep it with yourself. Else, you just feel like spitting them out with no internal resistance.
I am happy if you have never felt such pain. But if you have, I can understand your agony, your suffering, your ache and your trouble.
The superlative part comes into play when you are exposed to a similar struggle time and again. The experiences with such a similar pattern might drive you crazy at times. The strenuous effort to recover from this saddening pit of emotions keeps getting tougher each time.
Only when you feel the uncontrollable immense heartache, you will escort yourself to “a door”. A door that you open just for yourself. With a crying soul, you enter it. There, you feel peace. There is no pain. Only harmony. That space soothes your broken heart.
It is the space where you want to hug yourself tight and give it all the love.
Hurting stops if and only when you wish to. You need to release the pain that troubles your aura.
With all the bad emotions you carry as baggage, you shall promise. Promise to not experience the hurt anymore. You are a beautiful soul and you deserve happiness. You deserve the Best. But the Best has to be first served to yourself by ‘you’. Promise to trust your stars. Promise to believe in the universal energy. Because every setback in life brings stability along with turbulence. You learn to stabilise and balance out the worst of situations. You become “Resilient” from within. The Regrets shall never be a part of your “Promise to self”. When you regret anything, you again feel the pain. It is one of the forms of Self-kill.
With all the sweetness in your voice, keep your hand on your heart. Try to ease it out. Say to yourself, “It is okay! It is okay to be hurting. Everything will be okay. I am with you. I am with you throughout our life journey together, dearest heart. We will face tough situations with all our strength.”
And there you go. Now, you feel much relieved. Now you have gathered all the courage to face the challenges you are supposed to.
As a matter of fact, and the lifelong learning which I have acquired from the past is,
“I will not hurt myself anymore. I cannot control my present, but, what I can control is my present self. I am going to be gentle and kind to my heart. I will carry no Regrets and will not blame myself for any situation. I might have screwed up.
Nevertheless, in the end, I learnt a lesson out of it. I will accept it, strive hard and move forward.”
For many occasions in the past
Many people have touched my heart
Some vow to be my life’s part
While some decide to depart.
Alas, “Goodbyes” cause immense pain.
I learn about the “Strength” that I gain.
And deep down the lane,
The “Promise for self-love” shall prevail.
Thank you, dear readers
Kanishka Joshi :)